Is that what you want for me?

Yvette sat on the chair right across her mother and looked her in the eye with tears rolling down her face. She was shaking. She couldn’t believe that her own mother would leave her at such a time. She felt abandoned and unloved. She kept wondering if she was making the right decision. She even questioned her sanity. It was like she was sinking into the mad and was stretching her hand hoping her mother would come to her rescue but she could see her mother stare at her with disdain.

She remembered when she was a little girl and her mother lied to her about their maternal grandparents. She’d told them they died because of old age but she later found out when she was a teenager that they were alive and well. They just didn’t want a part of their daughter’s life. When she confronted her mother about it, she broke into tears and she just couldn’t control herself. She remembered her mother’s words just as she said them that day,

“I’m sorry I lied dear. I was trying to protect you and your siblings. I didn’t want you to feel unloved so it was easier saying they were deceased. I’ve said it a long time that I have started believing it myself. Honestly, I wish they met you baby. I wish they’d have known how smart, kind and intelligent you are Yvette. It’s their loss. That shouldn’t worry you at all. Dad and I love you all and that is enough.”

Her wedding was in a week’s time and her parents still hadn’t come to terms with her decision. She had come home hoping her mother would be more receptive and sympathetic with her but she could see she wasn’t getting anywhere. Her mother’s story weighed heavily in her chest and she thought to herself, ‘Why would she allow me to go through this alone?’

She looked at her mother one more time and spoke her heart out, “Mother, I love you. I am grateful to you and dad for raising me into this amazing lady I am today. I am eternally grateful. I also love Tim and I am going to marry him. I haven’t been in  such a situation before in my life and all I needed from you was motherly love and advice because you’ve been down this road before. I just need to ask you this before I leave, what you went through with your parents when you decided to get married to dad, is that what you want for me too? Who will teach me how to keep my husband? Who will teach me how to nurse my child? Who will my children visit during the holidays? Have you forgotten what I went through after I realized my grandparents didn’t want anything to do with me? Is that what you want my children to go through? Do you want me to lie to them you’re deceased then later tell them that they don’t need you like you told me? Mom please tell me, Is that what you want for me?”

She could see her mother wasn’t cracking at all. It was like she was trying to hit a stone hoping it would give her some water. Her blouse was soaking wet. She had said all she wanted to say to her mother and it was time to leave. She looked around at the house she once called home; the place where laughter and love was the only known language. It used to be the place she would find solace but it wasn’t anymore. Her heaviest burden had just been created there. She knew once she left, there was no turning back. She stood up, looked at her mother and hugged her goodbye. She said, “Goodbye Mother, May the Almighty keep you well.”

She walked out of the house towards her car and opened the driver’s door and looked back hoping her mother would at least be at the door waving at her but the door had been closed behind her and no one was standing there. It was time to go…

 

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