All week long she had kept telling God to give her peace. She just needed Him to give her peace of mind. She needed to let go without thinking of how big a gap was being left in her life. It was time for her to stop playing nice and let go…
It had been almost a month. A whole month of loneliness and pain. Her grandfather had just passed on at the beginning of the month and she was mourning. They had been very close. She had stared at his photo and phone number almost half of the morning. She cried each time she thought of him being gone. She hadn’t told anyone because they weren’t talking to her anyway. She longed for a shoulder to lean on but she was the one keeping the family together so she had to be strong.
She kept wishing they would just ask her what was going on and console her but they didn’t. Amidst her quiet wails she could hear them laugh loudly at their own stories. They acted like she wasn’t even in the room. Worst of all they acted like life was just normal. But it wasn’t normal to her. She’d just lost her best friend, anchor, mentor and loved one. Any normal person would console another who had lost someone but they just didn’t seem to care.
She cried until she couldn’t tell anymore if she was mourning her grandfather or wishing her roommates would stand with her at that trying moment. She kept asking herself what it was she had done to deserve what they were doing to her. She just couldn’t find the answer to any of her questions simply because she hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew that now.
That was why she was asking God to help her let go. She had spent so much time believing that she had wronged them and she had to make it up to them by being nice even when they were bullying her technically. She had spent a whole month trying to seek redemption from them but she’d decided she was done. She didn’t have anything to apologize for. If anything, they were supposed to be the ones to apologize but who cares right?
This passage was meant to tell whoever is going through a similar situation that if you don’t owe them anything stop beating yourself up. If they can’t beat you, they should join you. If they think they’re better off without you, then you’re too. Stop basing your life on people’s actions. Not everyone is happy when you’re doing better than them. Just learn that you’re not chocolate, you don’t have to please everybody. Ask the Lord to give you peace even as you let go of friends who don’t mean anything to you anymore. Don’t justify their actions, it’s time to let go!!