Society’s opinion doesn’t count!🙅🙅

We live in a society that classifies us based on our physical. One look at your fellow classmate and some crazy thought pops into your head. You find it funny so you go tell it to others. The next thing you know, its all around campus. You hear them judge every aspect of other people’s physique in low tones and loud laughters. It could be how thin or crooked your legs are. Your figure could be their centre of gossip. It could also be your pimpled face. I mean, they will find a weakness by all means. It doesn’t matter what good is in your heart. To them, its all about the things about you that you couldn’t change and have learnt to live with.

Many times they will throw you off your A game because, lets face it, you’re human. Human beings have been known to be creatures that crave attention and complement. Sometimes that little voice in your head tells you that you need to make changes and adjust some of the major headlines about your physique so you go ahead. Google makes all things easy right? The internet gives you several solutions from other people who have gone through the same predicament as you and have invented ways to help them cope. So you stumble on one that fits you and there you go, trying to alter God’s amazing creation.

But let me ask, is it worth it? Being society’s puppet, is it worth it? You know, in business class, we are taught about the nature of human beings and one of the major ones is that they are insatiable. So you found a lotion that makes your face smooth, they will complement you for a week then the next week its all about your skin. They will keep at it and you will keep doing it until google runs out of solutions for you and by that time you’re no longer who you knew yourself to be. Your own parents can’t even recognise you.

You go into depression and you start wishing and regretting. Therapists take your money and because they want to keep it coming they tell you exactly what you want to hear. You are then caught up in an unending battle between the society and your therapist. You are in between and you have no idea what you can do about it. Its so hard for you to cope with all the insults and the gossip but truth is, you did it all wrong.! From the beginning, you started fighting the wrong battles. Changing your physical appearance was the wrong move. I know its human nature to respond to all the bad being said about you but just stay with me for a while and lets reason together here.

The scripture says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, in His image and likeness. It does not say we are perfect. No one is. Only the Almighty. You are beautiful/handsome. It doesn’t matter what other people say. The minute you know this in your heart, gossip ceases to affect you. You need to be comfortable in your own skin. That weakness they think they can use against you, turn it around to your strength. Inspire others. Teach them. Use your pimpled face to encourage other young people that pimples or no pimples you’re just as beautiful as any other girl on this planet. Be proud of who you are. Don’t give them a leeway to use your weakness against you. You are exactly who God created you to be. If they think otherwise that’s their business.

People will always try to bring you down because somehow in their sick mentality it raises them up. Pulling others down works for them and they feel like they are worth something too. Now that is their bone to chew, you shouldn’t meddle. Your response to them is the ultimate game changer. You react by hearing them and going all things google, they win. You assume and keep loving your skin, they lose but they learn a valuable lesson from you in the process; Its okay to be flawed. It is okay to be imperfect. It is our imperfections that make us all the more beautiful.

Society won’t agree with me and yes I know its not an easy topic but I want you, my dear reader to know, it doesn’t matter what you think of as a flaw on your body. He who created you calls you beautiful/handsome. He calls you loved. He calls you child of the King. You’re enough. Just as you are. You are created with purpose.

People don’t easily acknowledge the good in your heart and they never take time to know you for who you truly are and not for what they see but that shouldn’t discourage you. They say ‘be good but don’t waste time proving it’. It doesn’t matter how much you prove it to them, they will always find a leeway to bring you down. So why not just take the high road and love yourself unconditionally?:(😌😌

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Breaking the habits

Making friends had never been my strong suit. I just didn’t have it in me. And my parents did not just understand why. Probably because they are excellent at it. If given a chance, I’d probably have preferred solitude to a group of people.

Somewhere deep within me I craved true friends. Or rather a bff. The problem was I used to be antisocial. Proud of it? Naah. I always wished I could change. My mum would always quarrel me about it. She would be like, “Speak up girl. Talk to people. Find out how they are doing.” When she was around I’d try but it was so plastic. I mean anyone with eyes could tell how plastic it was. It was so hard for me especially with my little brother being the social guy with smiles all around.

I remember in high school I was a mathematics guru and everyone would be so awed by my prowess. I liked it actually and it seemed like it made me friends without even having to try by myself. Trust me when I say it was worth it when it lasted. Somewhere at the back of my mind I always knew that they were just my friends because of the glory and all but they weren’t true. It got so bad that I got to a point where my pocket money worked the magic for me. I’d buy them bread or crisps and share my snacks in an effort to keep them because somehow my fears told me they would leave if I had nothing to offer. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes I look back at me as a teenager and I wish I wasn’t so insecure.

Well, after high school I had lots of phone numbers from the ‘
lots’ of friends I’d made. I couldn’t wait to get home and hit them up. My parents didn’t think I needed a phone right away, for reasons the younger version of me never got to understand, so I didn’t get one until later. By the time I got a phone, most of those phone numbers weren’t working.  Surprisingly, it didn’t quite affect me. I settled back into the peace and quiet of solitude.

My eighteenth birthday quickly approached and my parents thought to throw me a big party. I was excited, I mean who doesn’t want a pretty party thrown for their eighteenth? Right? Well, reality settled in when I had to send out invites and I realised I didn’t have friends to send them to. Mum kept asking me who I’d invited and I just said a few people. You can guess that it wasn’t true. The D-day was here and guess what? If you haven’t been so lucky to guess right, lemme break it down for you. The attendants were my uncles and aunts, my parents’ close friends and the kids under my mum’s sponsorship programme. Ikr?!?

Now don’t get me wrong, they made my day a success and all but somehow at the back of my mind I would have wanted some of my friends to be present. It was at that moment that I realised being a maths guru and spending my father’s money on a bunch of classmates wasn’t really worth it. I had done it all wrong. I can tell you right now with no apology that I am in no sort of contact with most of my former classmates. Maybe just three or four who have stuck around and have proven to be true friends.

So what I’m I getting at here? I’m trying to tell you my dear reader that you don’t have to possess something to offer so that you can make friends. Friendships based on material things don’t even deserve to be termed as friendships. Takes me back to a time when I had to pay half fare for a friend to come visit me. Crazy, huh? I know! The word in your head right now could be desperado and I agree but you wouldn’t understand if you haven’t somehow gone through it. It would probably seem like a story but trust me, its real!

True friends are a blessing from above. The Almighty knows each of our needs and using the things He’s blessed us with as a sketchy shortcut to getting friends is just wrong. Over the years I’ve learnt that not everyone who walks into our lives with a smile and open arms is meant to stay. Sometimes God wants you to learn just one thing from the person and move on. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are undeserving, No! He just wants you to be patient and say the right prayers. You’re probably thinking its weird to ask Him for trustworthy people in your life.

Well, let me be the first to inform you that its not. The scripture records that whatever we ask for in prayer and with a righteous heart, He is faithful to give us. It doesn’t matter what you need. My case was just an example. I needed to break the antisocial habit and I actually used my inability to make friends as a starting point. Guess what? The Lord has been faithful. I look back and I compare with now and I can’t help but be thankful. I’m not saying I have a truck full of friends, I’m simply saying that I’ve got my priorities straight and I’ve experienced a breakthrough.

Hey, I did it, who says you can’t too?;);)

A Piece

The soft sound of the wind as it swayed the palm trees side to side. The roar of the motorcycle as its owner brought it to life. The hooting of the vehicles as they rushed to God-knows-where. The kids’ laughter in the school just across the road made her smile. The smile, it was rare of late. She wanted to stand and go watch them play and have fun.

She found herself in a world of so many possibilities and could see herself playing with Timmy on the swings. That was the happiest Timmy had been. The thought of soaring into the skies and hiking on some pretty birds gave them the urge to scream, “Higher mummy.” The sky was beautiful and the possibility of staying permanently in the sky with the sun, the moon, all the shiny stars, the planets and of course Jesus, was their definition of perfection at the time.

“Bumblebee, hey.”

She was shaken out of her reverie by the sound of Timmy’s voice. It had always been the voice that could find her amidst all the daydreams. It was the one part of her life that was so much better than her dreams. He still looked awesome just like when they were kids. The smiling machine. She hadn’t figured out how he did it. Amidst his pains and frustrations he always managed to put a smile on her face. He’d always been her strongest point.

“Bumblebee come on lets play. I will reach the sun today .”
Mini her ran towards the swings and quickly sat on it. She looked back at him struggling to get to the swings and waited for him. It was a race but Timmy was always short of breath when they began to race. Most times she slowed her pace just to let him win. Mummy always said Timmy was her responsibility. She always had to take care of him even though she was a year younger than he was. As the years had gone by, they switched roles unknowingly. Timmy made a point of taking care of her and he did it so well that she sometimes forgot how fragile he was.

“Bumblebee did you hear what I said?”
“Sorry T, what was it you were saying?”
“I said go home and take a nap or something. You look freakishly bad.”
“I can’t leave you here…”
“Come on, I’m a big boy. Go on.”

Big boy. Yeah, right. That phrase almost made her laugh loudly. He always used it when he wanted to convince her that she needed to stop worrying too much. It worked, sometimes but this wasn’t just the day to use it. Her full time job was to worry about him. Most people who didn’t know her very well thought she was all over Timmy. Truth was, mummy’s last words were still the same words she’d been told when she was six, “Take care of Timmy for me Meghan.”

“Go home Meghan. I can handle a couple of hours alone. Go ahead.”
He only used her official name when he meant business. She didn’t have an option. She’d go take a walk around the block and come back in five minutes. She was hungry so she’d probably buy a burger before getting back. “I’ll be back in five T.” He grinned at her and shook his head. He must have been thinking of how relentless she was.

She held his hand for a few seconds and looked into his eyes. Behind the azure eyes which smiled back at her, she could see the fear, pain and anger. He hid it so well but she knew him well too. He could smile all he wanted but she knew he was as scared as she was. He was so strong even in his pain. He took one day at a time, never worried about tomorrow. After all, he didn’t have control over what tomorrow could bring.

She closed the door on her way out. The feeling of the fresh air in her nostrils just rejuvenated her. Timmy was right, she’d needed some air. The sounds she had heard through the hospital windows were now vivid. She’d been inside there for too long until she felt like she had forgotten the beauty of just walking around in town and enjoying the scenery. It was surreal but she wished she could share it with Timmy.

He just had this aura of calmness and a welcoming radiance around him that just pulled people towards him. His smile was infectious so he’d never had a hard time making friends. He was a keeper.

But he was gone. He promised to be there when she got back, at least his eyes did. He wasn’t there. He probably thought it would be easier for her if she didn’t see him in his weakest. Well, it wasn’t! A year down the line and everyone expected her to get over it but she couldn’t. Her last stop was always his grave. She felt at peace there. She was free to be anything she wanted when she was sitted there. Her daydreams somehow came to life when she spoke to him. She just wanted a piece of him to stay with her…