The soft sound of the wind as it swayed the palm trees side to side. The roar of the motorcycle as its owner brought it to life. The hooting of the vehicles as they rushed to God-knows-where. The kids’ laughter in the school just across the road made her smile. The smile, it was rare of late. She wanted to stand and go watch them play and have fun.
She found herself in a world of so many possibilities and could see herself playing with Timmy on the swings. That was the happiest Timmy had been. The thought of soaring into the skies and hiking on some pretty birds gave them the urge to scream, “Higher mummy.” The sky was beautiful and the possibility of staying permanently in the sky with the sun, the moon, all the shiny stars, the planets and of course Jesus, was their definition of perfection at the time.
She was shaken out of her reverie by the sound of Timmy’s voice. It had always been the voice that could find her amidst all the daydreams. It was the one part of her life that was so much better than her dreams. He still looked awesome just like when they were kids. The smiling machine. She hadn’t figured out how he did it. Amidst his pains and frustrations he always managed to put a smile on her face. He’d always been her strongest point.
“Bumblebee come on lets play. I will reach the sun today .”
Mini her ran towards the swings and quickly sat on it. She looked back at him struggling to get to the swings and waited for him. It was a race but Timmy was always short of breath when they began to race. Most times she slowed her pace just to let him win. Mummy always said Timmy was her responsibility. She always had to take care of him even though she was a year younger than he was. As the years had gone by, they switched roles unknowingly. Timmy made a point of taking care of her and he did it so well that she sometimes forgot how fragile he was.
“Bumblebee did you hear what I said?”
“Sorry T, what was it you were saying?”
“I said go home and take a nap or something. You look freakishly bad.”
“I can’t leave you here…”
“Come on, I’m a big boy. Go on.”
Big boy. Yeah, right. That phrase almost made her laugh loudly. He always used it when he wanted to convince her that she needed to stop worrying too much. It worked, sometimes but this wasn’t just the day to use it. Her full time job was to worry about him. Most people who didn’t know her very well thought she was all over Timmy. Truth was, mummy’s last words were still the same words she’d been told when she was six, “Take care of Timmy for me Meghan.”
“Go home Meghan. I can handle a couple of hours alone. Go ahead.”
He only used her official name when he meant business. She didn’t have an option. She’d go take a walk around the block and come back in five minutes. She was hungry so she’d probably buy a burger before getting back. “I’ll be back in five T.” He grinned at her and shook his head. He must have been thinking of how relentless she was.
She held his hand for a few seconds and looked into his eyes. Behind the azure eyes which smiled back at her, she could see the fear, pain and anger. He hid it so well but she knew him well too. He could smile all he wanted but she knew he was as scared as she was. He was so strong even in his pain. He took one day at a time, never worried about tomorrow. After all, he didn’t have control over what tomorrow could bring.
She closed the door on her way out. The feeling of the fresh air in her nostrils just rejuvenated her. Timmy was right, she’d needed some air. The sounds she had heard through the hospital windows were now vivid. She’d been inside there for too long until she felt like she had forgotten the beauty of just walking around in town and enjoying the scenery. It was surreal but she wished she could share it with Timmy.
He just had this aura of calmness and a welcoming radiance around him that just pulled people towards him. His smile was infectious so he’d never had a hard time making friends. He was a keeper.
But he was gone. He promised to be there when she got back, at least his eyes did. He wasn’t there. He probably thought it would be easier for her if she didn’t see him in his weakest. Well, it wasn’t! A year down the line and everyone expected her to get over it but she couldn’t. Her last stop was always his grave. She felt at peace there. She was free to be anything she wanted when she was sitted there. Her daydreams somehow came to life when she spoke to him. She just wanted a piece of him to stay with her…