She had a lot of pent up anger and she had no idea the harm it was doing to her. She was tired of trying. She was tired of being too nice. She was tired of sacrificing her well being for the benefit of people who didn’t take a moment to think of her. She was tired of always being on the receiving end of injustice and betrayal. She just wanted a break!
A break from the pain. A break from the hurt. A break from everyone. She could definitely use a break. No, she definitely needed a break. She longed for one day where her name would not be the topic of gossip around or her kindness mistaken for weakness. She longed for one night where she could go to bed happy and wake up elated to face the day. She longed for a time when she would walk around with a smile on her face and not be forced to frown at the mention of some names. She longed for peace of mind. She longed for genuine happiness. But no, they just couldn’t allow her get her happy ending…
They budged into her territory like she did not exist anymore. They walked all over her like she could not feel any pain. They had her name lingering on their lips like their lives depended on the amount of rumors they could spread. They made her life miserable like they earned nickles and dimes for it. They trashed her generosity like she did not mean a thing. They sat in circles and whispered like she was invisible. They couldn’t control themselves yet all she wanted was for them to stop.
She just wanted them to leave her alone. She wanted them to appreciate her generosity and encourage her to do it for others too. She wanted them to allow her live her life for herself and not to their expectations. She wanted them to find a new and better name to whisper about. She wanted them to think just for a second that she was human. She wanted them to stay away from her personal space. She wanted them to STOP!
She was a decent human being; or at least she thought she was. She deserved better and she knew that fact. She deserved way more than the peanuts she was settling for. She could definitely do better. She didn’t have to feel like she needed to prove her decency to a bunch of gossips who had made it their life’s work to make hers miserable. She deserved better people, friends, lovers and company; that would be willing to lay down their lives for just as she was willing to do hers. But the world is full of shitty people and she must have gotten the shitiest to deal with.